I was going on a lot of guilt trips. Some were of my own making and others were because of outsiders.
Guilt trips start off harmlessly enough. You're going about your merry way and then the questions start. "Why didn't you...?" "Why don't you...?" "Can't you...?"
Demands and suggestion quickly follow. "You should...""You can..."
Then accusations. "So you can't..." "You're just going to..." "You could if..."
Then the tripping. "So and so did such and such..." "You missed this already and now you're going to miss that?" "If you wanted to..." "If you don't, then..." "If I was so and so you would..."
All of these questions, accusations and threats are tiring! It's been a journey, but I'm at the point where no means no. I'll still explain a little bit (sometimes), but I no longer feel the need to make excuses or lie about why I can't or won't.
My Husband's protection toward me is excellent. He used to see me get upset about guilt trips. Feel the negative vibes it brought into our home. Then he said enough is enough. If I can't bring myself to say no to things I don't want to do, then he will do it for me. He even gets on me for doing things or changing my plans to accommodate him. What a breath of fresh air.
I understand that people want to see or spend time with me. Or want things from me. However, I also understand that my personal peace and sanity are the priority.
So, if I choose me over what's going on with you, I'm ok with that. It's up to you to make accommodations for you. If I don't attend your event, don't focus so much on my absence that you're ungrateful toward those present. And I'll do the same if the tables ever turn.
I'll go on road trips; business trips; plane, train or boat trips. But you'll have to count me out of guilt trips. They're played out and I can no longer afford them.
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