Thirty minutes ago, I began getting texts saying that Michael Jackson had died. Until it was confirmed by a reputable news source, I held on to the hope that it was just a rumor and that he would recover from whatever health problems that had befallen him.
Two minutes ago, his death was confirmed and my tears unexpectedly started to flow. For me, trying to imagine Michael Jackson lying lifeless is as painful as thinking of one of my own family members. I cannot explain why, because I am not a major follower of his, although I am in awe of his talent.
I mean, it's Michael Jackson. 2300 Jackson Street. Man in the Mirror. All the classics that I know and love and jam to. I can't fully wrap my mind around it. I cannot fathom his family's pain and loss. I feel like I know that family from having seen so much of them all my life.
I was uber-excited about going to see him August 10 in London with my “Aunt” S. I even argued this man down about the benefits versus the risks of traveling all the way to London JUST to see him.
Even with the alleged pedophilia, I still admired Michael Jackson's works of art. I never judged his idiosyncrasies or called him names because a jury deemed him not guilty. So at this surreal moment, I am heart-broken by Michael Jackson's passing. I am sad for his family and his millions of fans, especially the 750,000 ticket holders who anticipated his awesome concert. I am sad for my son and all the other children who will never fully understand Michael Jackson's greatness. I wish his soul peace and rest.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Tangentially Speaking
"Tangentially Speaking" has been a phrase in my repertoire since at least 1999. It came about when I realized that I don't always stick to the topic at hand, especially in one-on-one conversations with myself (I admittedly talk to myself--even when there are others to talk to).
Tangential means "almost irrelevant, with only slight relevance to the current subject". Anyone who's held a conversation with me, in person or online, can attest that I do not strictly adhere to the original topic.
I think AND speak outside the box as my tangential mind takes twists and turns and navigates me through this little world of mine. I like to think that this is my way of broadening the minds of those around me. It may or may not be true.
Tangential means "almost irrelevant, with only slight relevance to the current subject". Anyone who's held a conversation with me, in person or online, can attest that I do not strictly adhere to the original topic.
I think AND speak outside the box as my tangential mind takes twists and turns and navigates me through this little world of mine. I like to think that this is my way of broadening the minds of those around me. It may or may not be true.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Today is Father's Day, a day where "real" father's are applauded and where all other sperm-donating men are ridiculed and ostracized. I used to be one of the people who attached qualifications to my Father's Day greeting, being sure to always acknowledge fathers who take care of their kids and mothers who play the role of mother and father. Today, however, I woke up feeling a little differently.
I began to think about fathers who would like to play a more active role in their kids' lives, but because they are not financially able to provide for their kids according to the mothers' expectations, they are denied any fatherly privileges. I also thought about the men who would be fathers, had their rights to fatherhood not been flushed away during an unsupported decision by the mother to have an abortion. Then, there are fathers who are physically imprisoned for crimes they may not have committed and are not allowed to see their children because the mother does not take them for visits. Finally, my mind conjured up visions of young men who impregnated young girls and are not allowed into the babies' lives because the boys' mothers think the fast ass girl was sleeping around and her precious son could not possibly have been dumb enough to get that bitch pregnant.
Fatherhood is a complex entity that many people are not willing or able to conceptualize. I have seen each of the above-mentioned type of father. I've heard stories of fathers who long to do more, but the mother makes it quite impossible for them to do so. I am not making excuses for anyone, but it would be nice if we could see the role women may play in why their fathers or their kids’ fathers are not in their lives.
So, to all sperm donors, I wish you a Happy Father's Day. If you are able to do more for your child, then I urge you to do so. Dealing with women can be a monumental task, but remember it is the child with whom you should concern yourself, not the mother. You will pay the consequences of your actions, good or bad, so make good decisions.
I began to think about fathers who would like to play a more active role in their kids' lives, but because they are not financially able to provide for their kids according to the mothers' expectations, they are denied any fatherly privileges. I also thought about the men who would be fathers, had their rights to fatherhood not been flushed away during an unsupported decision by the mother to have an abortion. Then, there are fathers who are physically imprisoned for crimes they may not have committed and are not allowed to see their children because the mother does not take them for visits. Finally, my mind conjured up visions of young men who impregnated young girls and are not allowed into the babies' lives because the boys' mothers think the fast ass girl was sleeping around and her precious son could not possibly have been dumb enough to get that bitch pregnant.
Fatherhood is a complex entity that many people are not willing or able to conceptualize. I have seen each of the above-mentioned type of father. I've heard stories of fathers who long to do more, but the mother makes it quite impossible for them to do so. I am not making excuses for anyone, but it would be nice if we could see the role women may play in why their fathers or their kids’ fathers are not in their lives.
So, to all sperm donors, I wish you a Happy Father's Day. If you are able to do more for your child, then I urge you to do so. Dealing with women can be a monumental task, but remember it is the child with whom you should concern yourself, not the mother. You will pay the consequences of your actions, good or bad, so make good decisions.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
I Asked For It
I recently went to an amusement park to evaluate customer service. I told myself I'd give one rollercoaster a try. After surviving that one, I figured I could handle a couple more and I ventured on two additional rides. Getting out of my comfort zone and doing something I was afraid of doing was exhilarating.
The next day, I flew to Boston for work. As I was deplaning, I asked myself what I could do to further discomfort myself during my trip. After arriving at the hotel, I was informed that my room would not be ready for an hour.
I decided to walk around, rather than sit in the lobby on the computer as I would normally. While walking, I saw a group of people traveling in one direction and chose to follow the crowd, even though I was often warned against doing so. The throng of people was headed toward a Pride Parade, often referred to as a Rainbow Parade.
Normally, I would not associate myself with anyone or anything that would allow people to make judgments about me, but I said, "What the hell," and stayed to view the parade. It was quite interesting, though I was not completely comfortable being there. Again, I was proud to do something unexpected. That excursion further solidified the fact that it is time for me to live my life for me and not in fear of others' expectations or desires, just like the bold people in the parade were doing.
Fast forward to today. This morning, R informed me that "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" was having auditions in Charlotte and told me I should go. I immediately said that I was not going. Then, after a moment of introspection and realizing that I didn't want to go because 1) I didn't think I was smart enough for the show and 2) I didn't want to be embarrassed if I did poorly on the show, I again said, "What the hell," and got dressed to go to the audition.
Although I did not make the cut, I am happy that I again tackled my insecurities head on and went against the grain of my normal self. Now, I'm not sure how long Daredevil Dalia will be present, but for as long as she is, my life will be fuller and more joyful.
I hope you enjoy the current me as much as I am! I asked to outgrow my comfort zone and I am doing things to push me out of the 32-year-old cocoon, which has begun to suffocate me.
The next day, I flew to Boston for work. As I was deplaning, I asked myself what I could do to further discomfort myself during my trip. After arriving at the hotel, I was informed that my room would not be ready for an hour.
I decided to walk around, rather than sit in the lobby on the computer as I would normally. While walking, I saw a group of people traveling in one direction and chose to follow the crowd, even though I was often warned against doing so. The throng of people was headed toward a Pride Parade, often referred to as a Rainbow Parade.
Normally, I would not associate myself with anyone or anything that would allow people to make judgments about me, but I said, "What the hell," and stayed to view the parade. It was quite interesting, though I was not completely comfortable being there. Again, I was proud to do something unexpected. That excursion further solidified the fact that it is time for me to live my life for me and not in fear of others' expectations or desires, just like the bold people in the parade were doing.
Fast forward to today. This morning, R informed me that "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" was having auditions in Charlotte and told me I should go. I immediately said that I was not going. Then, after a moment of introspection and realizing that I didn't want to go because 1) I didn't think I was smart enough for the show and 2) I didn't want to be embarrassed if I did poorly on the show, I again said, "What the hell," and got dressed to go to the audition.
Although I did not make the cut, I am happy that I again tackled my insecurities head on and went against the grain of my normal self. Now, I'm not sure how long Daredevil Dalia will be present, but for as long as she is, my life will be fuller and more joyful.
I hope you enjoy the current me as much as I am! I asked to outgrow my comfort zone and I am doing things to push me out of the 32-year-old cocoon, which has begun to suffocate me.
I Want to Be a Milliionaire
I went to the Who Wants to Be a Millionaire audition held in Charlotte on June 15th. My husband informed me earlier that morning that the show was having auditions and told me I should go. I immediately said that I was not going. Then, after a moment of introspection and realizing that I didn't want to go because 1) I didn't think I was smart enough for the show and 2) I didn't want to be embarrassed if I did poorly on the show, I decided to give it a shot.
I didn't make it past the first portion of the audition, but it was an enjoyable experience. I arrived around 9 am and was the 28th person in the 3rd group of people. The other 2 groups had either gone or were in still in the auditorium taking their test.
I talked to a couple people in line and learned that we would take 2 multiple-choice tests. One would be general trivia and the second would be based on movie trivia, possible since the show is sponsored by Netflix.
While waiting, a cameraman for CBS-WBTV asked if he could interview me. I accepted and was asked if I watch the show (I don't), if I study trivia with family or friends (nope, just watch TV and read) and why I want to be on the show (to win enough money to pay off my student loans). I haven't been on TV since 1995 or 96 when I was in the audient on the Jenny Jones Show and lied and said I met my boyfriend on the internet.
Once our group entered the auditorium an hour later, we were explained the rules and handed the first set of test materials. This general trivia test was a trip. There were questions like, "In urban language, a hoopty refers to what vehicle?" "Who made the single, "Touch My Body" that broke Elvis' record for #1?" and "Chitlins refers to the intestines of which animal?" I aced those three questions, but don't think I knew the type of fish that was on the 2000 commemorative quarter. I apparently did not know much of the movie trivia, either.
During the time between the two tests, we were allowed the chance to win shirts. I raised my hand and said I'd play Truth or Dare for a shirt and that I would take Truth. The moderator said she couldn't think of a question she could ask, so I said, "Ask me if I want a shirt," and she did!!! Yay me, I got a shirt out of the deal, along with a pencil, a fan and a magnet...all of that for the lowly price of $5 for parking and however much I spent in gas to get there.
So, if I had passed the two quizzes, I would have filled out an application, had my picture taken and returned to a one-on-one interview. Those who make it through the interview will then be sent a postcard in about two weeks notifying them if they will be put into a contestant pool with others who made it through the process as far back as 2007.
If chosen from the contestant pool, the person will be selected to be on one of 11 primetime shows being hosted by Regis Philbin or in the syndicated shows hosted by Meredith Vieira. If chosen for Regis, SOME of the contestant’s travel and lodging fees are covered. The contestant pays for ALL travel and hotel charges if chosen to be on Meredith's show. The winner receives his/her money 30 days after the show airs.
Since I didn't jump high enough to make it through the hoops, I'll just have to make my riches the old fashioned way...through hard work and dedication. That is unless I win the Power Ball or Mega Millions!
http://www.wbtv.com/global/category.asp?c=151146&clipId=3867361&topVideoCatNo=default&topVideoCatNoB=168978&topVideoCatNoC=135991&topVideoCatNoD=139409&topVideoCatNoE=139408&autoStart=true
I didn't make it past the first portion of the audition, but it was an enjoyable experience. I arrived around 9 am and was the 28th person in the 3rd group of people. The other 2 groups had either gone or were in still in the auditorium taking their test.
I talked to a couple people in line and learned that we would take 2 multiple-choice tests. One would be general trivia and the second would be based on movie trivia, possible since the show is sponsored by Netflix.
While waiting, a cameraman for CBS-WBTV asked if he could interview me. I accepted and was asked if I watch the show (I don't), if I study trivia with family or friends (nope, just watch TV and read) and why I want to be on the show (to win enough money to pay off my student loans). I haven't been on TV since 1995 or 96 when I was in the audient on the Jenny Jones Show and lied and said I met my boyfriend on the internet.
Once our group entered the auditorium an hour later, we were explained the rules and handed the first set of test materials. This general trivia test was a trip. There were questions like, "In urban language, a hoopty refers to what vehicle?" "Who made the single, "Touch My Body" that broke Elvis' record for #1?" and "Chitlins refers to the intestines of which animal?" I aced those three questions, but don't think I knew the type of fish that was on the 2000 commemorative quarter. I apparently did not know much of the movie trivia, either.
During the time between the two tests, we were allowed the chance to win shirts. I raised my hand and said I'd play Truth or Dare for a shirt and that I would take Truth. The moderator said she couldn't think of a question she could ask, so I said, "Ask me if I want a shirt," and she did!!! Yay me, I got a shirt out of the deal, along with a pencil, a fan and a magnet...all of that for the lowly price of $5 for parking and however much I spent in gas to get there.
So, if I had passed the two quizzes, I would have filled out an application, had my picture taken and returned to a one-on-one interview. Those who make it through the interview will then be sent a postcard in about two weeks notifying them if they will be put into a contestant pool with others who made it through the process as far back as 2007.
If chosen from the contestant pool, the person will be selected to be on one of 11 primetime shows being hosted by Regis Philbin or in the syndicated shows hosted by Meredith Vieira. If chosen for Regis, SOME of the contestant’s travel and lodging fees are covered. The contestant pays for ALL travel and hotel charges if chosen to be on Meredith's show. The winner receives his/her money 30 days after the show airs.
Since I didn't jump high enough to make it through the hoops, I'll just have to make my riches the old fashioned way...through hard work and dedication. That is unless I win the Power Ball or Mega Millions!
http://www.wbtv.com/global/category.asp?c=151146&clipId=3867361&topVideoCatNo=default&topVideoCatNoB=168978&topVideoCatNoC=135991&topVideoCatNoD=139409&topVideoCatNoE=139408&autoStart=true
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