Ain't No Feeling Like Being Free

April 4, 2008


I was asleep, but not really. I was thinking about happiness and it seemed elusive. During this non-dream dream, I was shown situations and was able to clearly see how my choices determined the outcome and the resulting happiness. Of course, like in many dreams, I can’t quite remember what the examples were.

I just remember that happiness depends on how I choose to interpret situations...I can see the good or the bad, but whatever I see kind of dictates my reaction and subsequent happiness. Also, happiness is experienced moment by moment. I won’t ever experience happiness as long as I’m communing with my thoughts instead of living life.

Whatever the exact dream-like experience was, I felt good deep down in my bones that I was able to see myself seeing myself make good choices. This may not make much sense, but read "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle or "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert and it may be a little clearer.

Anyway, after really awakening from the non-dream dream, a song came into my head. I could only remember the chorus, not the lyrics or the artist. So, I lay there for what seems like an hour singing, "It ain’t no feeling like being free. When my mind’s made up and my heart is in the right place."

In all actuality, only about 10 minutes had passed. Still, the song kept running a course through the racetrack of my mind. "It ain’t no feeling like being free." And finally, I felt fine being me.
Not the me that people see or the fake me that I show to the world. The me with old, unresolved issues. The me with a thorn in my side that just at this moment stopped hurting. The me who at this moment is bold and unashamed. The me who recognizes that the me I am right now is not the me who will be around in 5 minutes or 5 days from now.

The me who knows that I AM. I am more than R’s wife. More than Son’s mother. I am more than a world-traveling public speaker or ice cream lover or any other worldly title that I or others have labeled me.

Just like any moment of true joy, this may pass. When Son is getting into something and R unintentionally grates my nerves, I just hope I that I remember that I can transcend again and find this part of myself that is fully self-accepting and unfazed by external factors.

"It ain’t no feeling like being free. When my mind’s made up and my heart is in the right place!" I found the song on the internet (gotta love the net). It’s Destiny’s Child from their final album, Destiny Fulfilled. (Maybe the title of this album means something in this whole episode of mine and maybe not.)

Anyway, after listening to the song, it’s about getting out of a relationship with a man. That’s not what it means for me (at least at this moment that I know of), so don’t jump to conclusions when you hear it on my profile (MySpace).

Ain’t no feeling like being free
When your mind’s made up
And your hearts in the right place, yeah
Ain’t no feeling like being free
When you’ve done all you could
But was misunderstood
(It’s all good, it’s all good)
Ain’t no feeling like being free
I’m like an eagle set free
And finally I’m looking out for me
Ain’t no feeling like being free
Cause my mind’s made up
And my heart is in the right place, yeah

Secrets of a Mystery Shopper

Mystery Shopping is a legitimate source of income. You get paid to eat, bowl, shop and do other fun things and write a report about your observations. The purpose of Mystery Shopping is to inform companies about the service you were provided and at times offer suggestions for improvement.

I have been a Mystery Shopper since 2002. I actively work for about 5 companies, but am signed up for at least 15. It did not cost me anything to become a shopper, however I did invest $25 to get a certification. I'm not sure if this gets me more jobs or not, but it was a small expense which can be written off on taxes.

So far this year, I have made $50 from one company alone for eating at McDonald's. Eating is the fun part, but sometimes the reports are a bit tedious. Overall, the experience has been good.
Be aware that there are some companies which solicit you and ask you to send in money to become a Shopper. DO NOT pay any fees to sign up for companies!!!

The items you generally need to own are a digital camera, stopwatch, scanner and/or fax machine. All of these items are tax write-offs since you're using them as an independent contractor. Your mileage and certification fee are also tax deductible.

Some of the sites that I use are listed below. You will receive e-mails letting you know the jobs in your area. Sign up for all of them for more chances to get selected to perform a shop. Don't get discouraged if you aren't selected for shops immediately. More experience Shoppers are generally chosen first.

http://www.cybershopperonline.com/
http://www.acpview.com/
http://www.ritterassociates.com/
http://www.msishopper.net/
http://www.secretshopper.com/
http://www.shopnchekshopper.com/
http://www.sassieshop.com/2kern/
http://www.mysteryshops.com/
http://www.sassieshop.com/2nis/
http://www.sassieshop.com/2servicesleuths
http://www.sassieshop.com/2mystique/
https://www.shopnchekshopper.com/
http://www.secretshopper.com/
http://www.sassieshop.com/2confero/
http://www.secretshopnet.com/
http://www.sassieshop.com/2bareintl/

Farewell Cayenne

On November 9, 1998 I bought my first car. It was a Cayenne Red Chevy Cavalier which I affectionately called Cayenne and Cavy.

I wanted a car, so bad...any car would do. I had a dream about a red car and after looking at several types, I chose Cayenne.

I didn't care much what the car offered. I only wanted a CD player and air conditioning. I found out years later that I was short-sighted and should have also opted for power locks and windows.

Cavy has been with me on road trips between Indianapolis and East Chicago, Chicago, Atlanta, Nashville and anywhere else I had a whim to go. Now, 150,000 miles later, she and I just separated.

Cayenne now has a new Mommy and best friend, A and her daughter S. She'll be housed around the corner from me, so I'll still be able to visit her. However, in 2 weeks I'm moving to Charlotte and our separation will be more permanent.

Everyone keeps asking me if I'm sad. I ask in return, "Do you want me to be?" and "Should I be?" I'm not sad per se. I'm happy that A and S have transportation all their own, but it's bittersweet knowing that this was my first car and the only brand spanking new car I've owned to date (started with 16 miles).

Cayenne has been with me through break-ups and make-ups, promotions, good times and bad. She's been more dependable and faithful to me than many men and friends have been.

Thank you for swerving back into the lane when I've drifted off to sleep and rolled over the bumpy part of the highway. I am grateful to you for never dying on me and being a low-maintenance car. I appreciate that you were not condescending when I beat your steering wheel in frustration, whether at an idiot on the road or an idiot in my life.

Adieu Cayenne, adieu. I wish you well in your new role and hope you will remain the happy, trust-worthy car you've always been.

An Introduction to the Queen

I am Queen Dalia. My name did not originate from a feeling of superiority over anyone. Its origin is simple: when my maiden name was alphabetized, it was listed "King, Dalia." I am clearly all woman, so my Sorority Sister C began calling me "Queen Dalia" in 1996 when I became an AKA. Since this time, Queen Dalia has remained my moniker.

This first blog introduced you to the meaning behind my name. My goal with future blogs is to delve deeper into me as a person. I hope to remain honest, transparent and fearful as I share myself in my writings.

My blog is titled "Tangentially Speaking" because I have been known to jump from topic to topic in the midst of a conversation or even a sentence. I came up with this title in 2001 when I was playing with names for a potential book...one that still has yet to be written.