Today is Father's Day, a day where "real" father's are applauded and where all other sperm-donating men are ridiculed and ostracized. I used to be one of the people who attached qualifications to my Father's Day greeting, being sure to always acknowledge fathers who take care of their kids and mothers who play the role of mother and father. Today, however, I woke up feeling a little differently.

I began to think about fathers who would like to play a more active role in their kids' lives, but because they are not financially able to provide for their kids according to the mothers' expectations, they are denied any fatherly privileges. I also thought about the men who would be fathers, had their rights to fatherhood not been flushed away during an unsupported decision by the mother to have an abortion. Then, there are fathers who are physically imprisoned for crimes they may not have committed and are not allowed to see their children because the mother does not take them for visits. Finally, my mind conjured up visions of young men who impregnated young girls and are not allowed into the babies' lives because the boys' mothers think the fast ass girl was sleeping around and her precious son could not possibly have been dumb enough to get that bitch pregnant.

Fatherhood is a complex entity that many people are not willing or able to conceptualize. I have seen each of the above-mentioned type of father. I've heard stories of fathers who long to do more, but the mother makes it quite impossible for them to do so. I am not making excuses for anyone, but it would be nice if we could see the role women may play in why their fathers or their kids’ fathers are not in their lives.

So, to all sperm donors, I wish you a Happy Father's Day. If you are able to do more for your child, then I urge you to do so. Dealing with women can be a monumental task, but remember it is the child with whom you should concern yourself, not the mother. You will pay the consequences of your actions, good or bad, so make good decisions.