Maybe I Deserve

Do you ever think about what you deserve? If you do, you likely think about  deserving happiness, a raise, a treat, etc. Good/positive things. But, do you ever think about those things that you should have experienced and were spared from? 

Every time I talk to someone, I deserve to be treated rudely. Not because I'm a rude person...now. However, once upon a time, rudeness and defensiveness were my default setting...and it still lingers if I'm not careful. 

I deserve to be judged for how I look, talk, act because I've judged people by those things. I deserve to have my belongings stolen, my property damaged, my heart broken, my feelings hurt, to be laughed at, to be made to feel stupid or dumb, lots of things that I've done to people where payback wouldn't be a surprise. 

I practice seeing the good in all things so that whether positive or negative things come my way, I can usually see the silver lining. If something bad happens, I try not to get upset. It usually pales in comparison to the havoc I've wreaked and is still more bearable than what I likely deserve (for example, I deserve a speeding ticket everyday but rarely get them). When good comes into my life, I appreciate it because things could be a lot worse, as it is indeed a lot worse for many people. 

*You take the good. You take the bad. You take them both and there you have the facts of life.*